Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
