I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize