girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
