Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
