my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
