Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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