sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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