I smell stomach acid.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
