I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
