id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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