Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
