Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
