You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
