In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize