Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Damn victory sex feels great
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