I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
