I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
