I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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