just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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