"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
