I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
