smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
