You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
