I think im going to throw up on grandma
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
