I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
