The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
