Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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