Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize