Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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