I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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