Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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