He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
foreskin is a definite game changer
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
