So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
