I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
