I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
