I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
