ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
