fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
