Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Please, let me fuck your mom
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize