Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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