I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
