We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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