we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
