Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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