Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
