i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The Olympian is in my bed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
