someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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