so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
