i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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