my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
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What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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