It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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