i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
